


Cramped

by deideinogod



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-08-24 01:30:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16630319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deideinogod/pseuds/deideinogod
Summary: Sometimes it's hard to keep your cool when you're worried sick about the person you love. Good memories can help remember the good times.





	Cramped

# Cramped

_'Do you remember our first place, Moony?'_

_'I remember us being so cramped you had to put your feet out of the window on to the street.'  
Sirius smirked, looking up at Remus from his lap. 'It was the life though, wasn’t it?'_

_'Yeah,' Remus smiled._

 

It was the life, though. It was only the beginning. They were both innocent, as much as they could be in those terrible times, their hearts were plain, no scars, no bites.

That day they were moving in, carrying all their stuff up, to the fourth floor. Not that they had much, they bought some second-hand furniture and it was a nightmare. They were in the middle of the city and couldn’t risk being seen doing magic. In the middle of it all Remus had a terrible cough attack and let go of the big bed, Sirius fell down with it, luckily not striking his head on the way down.

Remus got pale and frightened, and looked down.

'Padfoot?!' Remus ran down and pushed the bed out of the way, from Sirius calves.

'I’m alive and well, babe,' Sirius laughed carelessly but didn’t stand up so Remus gave him a hand and helped him up, flicking the dirt and dust off of Sirius’ clothes while looking at him carefully. Sirus laughed again, putting his hand in Remus hair. 'Really, I’m okay. Merlin, you are such a sweetheart.'

They have been together for a couple of months then. Sirius had lived with James’ parents and Remus had lived with James and Lily, trying to avoid them and not disturb their life as newly weds. Then, one evening Sirius appeared with a crate of muggle beer, in his red shirt on and hair in a ponytail, probably haven’t been shaving for two days because Remus could see the delicate stubble. Beside him on the porch stood Peter, as always in a black turtleneck, looking even smaller than usually and pretty worn. They didn’t know what he’s been up to, they were still friends, still reckless and willing to die for one another.

They all drank too much, not Lily though, she was already pregnant at that time. Sirius started talking about this flat in the heart of London that he found earlier that day, pretty old and small but big enough for two people. Remus didn’t think too much. He just wanted to spend as much time with Sirius in between their missions as possible.

So they moved, and the day was sunny. It was autumn but incredibly warm one.The street where their new home was, was lined with naked trees and there were two lovely grocery stores. Some neighbours had dogs or cats and balconies full of flowers. Remus adored that, he wished they could have flowers too (but they were out so much that they’ve never done it.)  
After they managed to get everything upstairs, Sirius just lay on the sofa by the window with his feet leaning out of the window.

'Do you need anything, love?' asked Remus, looking at him with concern, searching for any hints of concussion in Sirius' eyes. He seemed perfectly well, though, loungin on the couch, breathing in the air and smiling lightly.

'I need you. Come here,' Sirius demanded, stretching out his hand to catch Remus and Remus didn’t run away, he sat down, taking Sirius’ head into his lap and stroking his long hair.

'Are you going to ever cut them? You look like a punk.'

'A punk, huh? Now I’m not going to cut them EVER,' Sirius laughed and stroked Remus’ cheek, looking up at him. He felt that this was a good place.

 

The times were getting darker. Followers of Voldemort started lashing out on the muggles. Marauders knew that Voldemort was out for Potters. Remus was constantly out of the city, looking for God knew what, claiming to being on Dumbledore’s orders, keeping silent about the details. Sirius couldn’t look him in the eye, feeling hurt that he wouldn’t tell him what he was doing, only coming back with more and more scars. There was no Darsk Sign on his forearm though. Or even on any other part of his body, Sirius cared enough to examine him thoroughly.

 

'Where were you?' Sirius stood in the corridor with his leather jacket already on, when Remus went in, battered, with dark circles under his eyes, thinner than the last time they've seen each other.

'I told you, I had this thing to do. For Dumbledore, you know... I'm back now,' Remus sighed, knowing how it will end, knowing the look in Sirius' eyes, the stubborness, hurt and anger that mixed into something more powerful than he could imagine. The cold fire burning in these black eyes plastered to him truly frightened him that evening.

'Back! Woah! Thank you, Lupin, for that blessing! Look at him, he's back! And where were you?!' Sirius spitted the words stinging like a poison.

'The most important is, that I'm here and--' Remus reached out his hand to caress Sirius' cheek but was immidiately dismissed by Sirius stepping back, '--I will always come back...'

'Oh, will you?! Just like Marlene or the Longbottoms, huh?' Sirius snapped, his messy hair falling into his eyes, arm flying in the air.

'Sirius, don't be childish! You know the situation,' Remus was too tired to scream oand too scared of losing him over that.

'Do I now?! Stop the bullshit already, Lupin! We are only 20! We've barely graduated and got our lives together! I give my everything to that stupid war and what do I get in return?! I've got jack squat, Remus!' Sirius jumped to Remus and pushed him against the door, he was breathing heavily, his nostrils fluttering.

'For fuck's sake, Black!' Remus growled, his eyes glimmering dangerously, 'You're not the only one affected! Now back off, I'm not in the mood for that shit.' Hearing that, Sirius turned away, his body shaking, he looked back at Remus.

'Really, Sirius... Just trust me. I would never betray you. I just can't tell you. It's too dangerous,' Sirius still could hear the irritation in Remus' voice, he pressed his lips tight together and went to the bedroom they shared.

It was a small room with old wooden floor and white, uneven plaster walls.The window was big, going out on the street and a big wooden wardrobe stood in front of the bed. The bed was old, with a metal frame and nice, white bedclothes. Sirius sighed, looking at the place he'd grown to hate so much as soon as Remus left for another mission every month. Sudenly he felt arms around his waist, pulling him close.

'I'm sorry, Pads...' whispered Remus in his ear.

'I'm sorry. Let's just go to bed...' Sirius tried to escape these arms holding him close and safe. Insted he's been lifted up from the earth and carried to bed. Remus lied him down and climbed on top of him. He wanted to look in the other's eyes but Sirius turned his face to the side and closed his lids. Remus sighed and rolled off Sirius' body, to lie on his side.

'I'm afraid that one day you'll come back and I will love you a little less than before. A little is just enough to destroy everything,' Sirius said quietly, an ambulance passed the street outside. Another attack on muggles?

'We've been through worse. Don't begin all over again, Sirius,' Remus got up, irritated and took his maroon sweater off. Sirius opened his eyes to look at him. Bullshit. They've never been through worse. The Prank wasn't that bad. Sure, they fell out, they've been angry, stubborn... But neither of them thought that it will be forever. Or did they?

Remus lied down on the other side of the bed and looked at Sirius. This was supposed to be home. This was supposed to be the safe haven. This was a place of torment, a place where he was afraid to go back after each mission. Their first home.

 

_They lied down naked on the couch in the evening the day they moved here. Remus was caressing Sirius' legs, circling the bruises on his calves with his fingers._

_'Sorry I'm so clumsy,' Remus laughed and kissed Sirius' knee._

_'If you're going to apologize like that, please go on, I'm very angry,' Sirius smiled cheekily, winking at the other._

_'Sorry...' Remus kissed his thigh, just above the knee, 'I love you so much... All of you...' Sirius closed his eyes and leaned on the armrest while Sirius proceeded to kiss his body more intently. They were interrupted by a scream from the street._

_'Padfoot! Pads'_

_'I swear to God, I can't get you alone for a minute without your fans interrupting us,' Remus quickly leaned out of the window to see James standing in the pavement and waving at them with two bottles of firewhisky._


End file.
